Moist Father

Thafsasin Grave Yard – skoura M’daz Morocco

You are getting older and weaker

You are still the funniest around the table

Your hair is all white now

Your skin is dry and hairless

I suggested you would use some moisturizer

And you agreed with one condition : To show you how to apply it

I was surprised with that answer

I never stroke you for that kind of guy

You always said that a real man needs no pampering

You are getting softer I thought

And I liked this new aspect of your personality

You are showing vulnerability like you never did before

And I didn’t get to experience this when I was younger

I massaged your legs with cold cream

And thought of this guy I offered to massage his

And compared it in my head

I sounded so silly comparing kindness to sexuality

Because when I was massaging those legs

All I could think of is how they are shrinking

Then a sudden fright of losing you took a hold of my body

You are getting older and weaker

Yet you made your peace with death ages ago

You even asked me for forgiveness

But I am not ready yet

I still want to spend hours chatting

Sitting by the fireplace

I still want to feel your rough hands

Scratching with the contact of my hair

I still want to hear your psalms and your songs and your prayers

I still want you to worry about insignificant things like me not getting enough rest

When I visited the graveyard I thought of you there

In peace surrounded by silence

Then the sudden fright of losing you took a hold of my body again

I am not ready for your loss

I will never be ready

Yet every time I see you I know it is getting closer.